problemagus: iconography; (Inside of you;)
Kiritsugu "Useless Heterosexual" Emiya ([personal profile] problemagus) wrote in [community profile] denton2021-12-12 01:19 pm

( 20 ) I know what hands are for, and I'd like to help myself.

( This... is not what Kiritsugu wanted to deal with today. A reckless Avenger, injured. It was a direct violation of his orders. In his logical mind, he couldn't even understand why she'd chase after a servant like Berserker, given how brittle her class could prove to be. He'd have to rectify this matter, immediately.

They're all sharp, mechanical movements. From the way he shrugs off his suit jacket, to how he unlatches the buttons of his dress shirt, before seating himself against the cheap spring mattress of the hotel. His gaze falls onto Gwen's, ironically, delicate frame, reaching out a hand to cup her cheek. Though he could hardly consider the gesture 'romantic.' )


Whatever reservations you have with me, I advise you rid yourself of them now.

( It's... the most pragmatic approach for the both of them, he thinks. Must he command her to behave, as well? He certainly hadn't ruled it out, but he's giving her a chance to come to her senses. )
gwenhwyfar: (Over the river teeming with spears)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-12 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It doesn't really matter how strong Berserker is. It's who he is that initially earned so much ire from Gwenhwyfar and the fact that showing any sign of reluctance from him, of all people she knew, in an effort to "correct" him. Oh, yes, she knew what Lancelot was capable of; she, herself, had sent him out several times on her behalf. Whether it was against an actual threat.

Or... if Lancelot irritated Gwenhwyfar just that much. Her relationship with Lancelot had always been a complex one, it was never black and white as others thought it was. But to see the former knight, the once right-hand man of Arthur dissolve himself into such a pitiful mass of shame and shadow? It was infuriating to her. Gwenhwyfar had gone full out to elicit a response from him... and she had gotten it.

A good portion of that fight was Gwenhwyfar berating him, calling him a slew of names, insults that revolved around how pitiful he was, how stupid he was. All the guilt she had harbored for Arthur and Lancelot was fully taken out on him. To make it worse, Gwenhwyfar was fully capable of regenerating herself -- she had that ability to do so in her life. A half-demon riddled in scars was odd: she just chose not to do it for the sake of preserving her human mind.

She had already seen madness enhancement on Lancelot and she was certain hers would be just as bad if not worse. It was in the nature of half-demons, after all, to devour.

Gwenhwyfar is most definitely not in the mood for romantic gestures and the root of the intense anger and annoyance of it was out there, somewhere, likely screaming for her husband, much to her frustration. It's also a good reminder that... even with the idea of becoming intimate with Lancelot was a remnant of Gwenhwyfar's fear of abandonment?

She loved Arthur more than anyone, her one true love and she had ruined it. ]


Fuck off.

[ So says the Queen of the Britons, in all her regal glory.

Bleeding and bruised? She can manage it. Gwenhwyfar has always had a high tolerance for pain. But suspiciously, her grip is weaker than usual and her hand is trembling. ]


He deserves it and more. The idiot chose to rot himself away in a shameful mess. If he wants to be punished so much? Then so be it, but it will be from me.

[ Her feelings for the knight, as always, will always be complex. ]
gwenhwyfar: (Get a job. Buy your own shit.)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-13 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ Maybe she would enjoy it, maybe not.

But the anger is absolutely palpable beyond any Master and Servant bond when Gwenhwyfar looks up at him as if to say "well, duh". ]


Yes, I've uncovered that. It's a bit easy when you've seen the man use his weapons and screaming "Arthur" at the top of his lungs.

[ Forget the war, forget everyone else, she wanted to smack him into next week and put sense into Lancelot.

Poor Kerry, he had opened up a can of worms and centuries-old anger and grief. ]


It's about the only thing that idiot can say, if you've noticed. Look at him! He should be happy that he was given the chance for a normal life -- I was.

[ So much so, Gwenhwyfar even made a b-line back to Arthur. ]

So he cloaks himself in his misery into that stupid shadow and refuses to listen to reason. Ugh, that is so very like him! The only thing that's changed is that ugly set armor. Of course, he would do that, he's always been that way! That miserable, stupid fool, him and his honor--!
gwenhwyfar: (Purge me with poison)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-13 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ It confuses her more than anything. She half-expected to be called "petty" for it -- part of it was petty. Her draw to Lancelot originally was petty.

She really never recovered from her abduction from Melwas and his words -- "He has left you." No matter how deep her love for Arthur was, each time he left for battles and wars, Gwenhwyfar was left alone, crying for him.

And, if anything, Lancelot's fielty to Arthur went beyond any love for her. She hated that, hated that his honor meant more to him than her. How dare he be angry at Arthur for forgiving them, she thought, how dare he subject himself to such a level that he wasted away.

She could use comfort, sure, she just wasn't sure how to handle it or process it. She stands almost limp in his arms. Bury it. He has no idea that was how she was brought up, she could steel her emotions as much as she can, but it never soothed that pain.

The pain manifested into an uncontrollable rage. At least it quells her tangent and any desire she had left to storm off and find him, again. Warmth is nice -- she even leans into it for a few minutes even as her hands lie suspended at her side as if poised to reach for him. She can't.

The gesture ultimately confuses her. ]


I cannot.

[ Any tears that manifested from Gwenhwyfar are stifled. She doesn't want to be seen as weak, not by anyone, not even those tied to her. ]

Gareth adored him. Such a kind girl who never wished him harm... and he crushed her skull in. She did nothing but stand in his way. Literally. Trying to reason with him. I begged him not to.
gwenhwyfar: (No one’s paying us shit for fuck.)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-13 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There could be a small part of her, much like Lancelot, that wants to actively seek out self-destruction that stems from her feeling that she is generally an undeserving being. His words do irritate her, however, she was never one to be reasoned with. It felt like she was being patronized by someone.

Because she knew that he's right and she doesn't like being told what she already knows.

Or possessing limits. The Queen of the Britons was raised to do what others told her to do. At one point in her youth (just by happenstance, her current form) that she finally was able to push back.

It's awful, she yearned for any physical comfort so much that she hasn't shoved him away, despite the urge lingering. Despite the fact she catches herself leaning into that gesture. ]


It's not so much a matter of "forgiveness". He wants to be punished, then I'll do it for him for refusing to listen to logic.

[ She's close to going off on a tirade about the Black Knight. Gwenhwyfar scoffs, despite her tears. ]

And if I don't? Then what? I was never human, I can heal myself.

[ But then she risks the cost of losing control of her demonic blood, as they both know. ]
gwenhwyfar: (This is terrible. Keep going.)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-14 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Provide what?

[ Holding her tighter works for a few minutes, enough to fluster her, up until Gwenhwyfar hears the word "dramatics" and the sour is opened up again. Really, it's no better than holding a feral cat.

She had to wonder if the whole ordeal ever sank into him; a young woman was killed on the account of someone's selfishness, even at a point Gwenwhyfar had laid down the line, herself. She was hurt, she felt betrayed just as she had felt so many times before. Arthur wasn't around to reel her in, the only man that Gwenhwyfar would ever listen to, no questions.

Most of all, she hated herself for the betrayal. She hated that she was so weak enough to lead to such a schism in her husband's court and for the rest of her afterlife, she would be desperately repaying it. After all, she loved them both. She loved Arthur's nephews and wanted something better for them. Gareth never deserved it and Gawain never deserved the misery.

The more she thinks about it, the angrier she gets. She felt like he wasn't taking her seriously, as if it was another chapter in some ridiculous soap opera. ]


What strategies do you have, then? Was it killing off the mages? He's so consumed with rage he'll hurt another innocent, again, just like he did with Gareth.
gwenhwyfar: (The sky is falling on me)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-14 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ His words take her by surprise and the only hint of that she gives him is a slight arch of her eyebrow. She's not one to shrink away from intimacy -- the opposite, really. More than anything, Gwenhwyfar enjoys physical contact, allowing him to play with her head with a slight tilt of her head.

Maybe she's feeling extra spiteful to hide the fact that she likes it. For whatever reason, Gwenhwyfar wants to be that extra petulant and not show she is one that can cave easily.

Even if she does and has. Several times.

The expression on her face as she looks up at him is a feigned one of disinterest. He's right -- she could easily lose control and it's the last thing she wants. Mana keeps her afloat no thanks to her bloodline. Yet at the mention of her bloodline, Gwenhwyfar speaks in a way to hide her small, feigned incisors. ]


No. I don't want to sink to his level.

[ Doesn't he have a child? Or two? She can't bear the thought of hurting children. ]

Spare that poor man.

[ She felt... awful for Kariya. Look at what he has to work with. ]

He coughs up blood, his body is a mess. He doesn't need an intervention, it'll happen naturally. At least allow him that dignity.

Fine. So be it. I don't care.
Edited 2021-12-14 23:36 (UTC)
gwenhwyfar: (Looking for revolution)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-15 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ The feeling is mutual, to some degree, although Gwenhwyfar doesn't really see him as a tool. An idiot, sometimes, sure, but not a tool. She doesn't let him know that, however, any sort of softness that might come up is buried down.

Because the battle-hardened Queen of the Britons does not want to be seen as anything but strong. About the only thing, she'll let slip is the pleased noise she lets loose for having the back of her hair grabbed.

She doesn't mind a little force, she's used to it. Anything else would be too confusing. Through the tussle of white locks, Gwenhwyfar takes a breath to adjust herself.

And there are times she just can't help herself, turning to him, her voice a whisper and flat as a pancake. ]


Oh, do hold back your excitement, penpidyn.
gwenhwyfar: (I'm the fire you thought you'd lost)

[personal profile] gwenhwyfar 2021-12-15 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
[ If anything, Gwenhwyfar wanted to be difficult for the sake of being difficult, an all too common trait of hers. The need to be defiant to save face.

But she isn't completely defiant when it comes to his touch; she likes the aggression, letting her hands be bounded listlessly above her head without much resistance. The sigh she passes through her nostrils is not just one of contentment, because somewhere in the back of her mind, she's rolling her eye. Teeth on her lips are all fine and good, but she wants it known that she's fairly annoyed.

Humans are just that weird. Here would be the drawback of exhausting her manna: her demonic strength is limited, not without forcing herself to heal, and Gwenhwyfar's teeth would be used in a different matter than the aggressive kiss.

If she ignores his comment for a minute, then--

Who is she kidding? She can't. Gwenhwyfar may return the kiss at first, up until she makes it known that she's not to be reckoned with by letting those sharp incisors glide across his bottom lip. The only sign of protest is the nudge she gives him underneath is weight. ]